"Woe to the
shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves!
Should not shepherds take care of the flock?
You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and
slaughter the choice animals,
but you do not take care of the flock.
You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or
bound up the injured.
You have not brought back the strays or searched for the
lost.
You have ruled them harshly and brutally.
So they were scattered because there was no shepherd,
and when they were scattered they became food for all the
wild animals. "
(Ezekiel 34:2-5)
God is such a wonderful person that it is impossible to
describe him adequately. Words alone can never express all his
glory and splendor, his tender love and understanding, his
infinite creativity, his perfect justice and truth. So what did
God do in order to be known? "So God created man in his own image ..."
(Genesis 1:27) Man was created to be a reflection of the wonderful
personality of God!
One of the first commandments given to man is this: "Rule
over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every
living creature that moves on the ground."
(Genesis 1:28) In other words: Man had to exercise authority.
This is in no way strange, when we consider that God himself is
authority. So, in order to be God's image in this world, man also
had to exercise authority.
Later on, we find the origins of different
"institutions" or "orders" among humans: the
family, the state, the world of work and economy, and finally the
Church. All these institutions have a "government", a
structure of authority. When we study the Bible about this
subject, we find that according to God's original plan, each one
of these authorities was instituted in order to reflect God's
character in this world.
About civil government,
it says: "Submit yourselves for the
Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: ...
to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do
wrong and to commend those who do right."
(1 Peter 2:13-14). In other words: Civil government has
to punish what God hates, commend what God commends, and
in this way represent God's justice on earth.
About employers and
employees, it says: "Slaves,
obey your earthly masters in everything; ... It is the
Lord Christ you are serving. ... Masters, provide your
slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that
you also have a Master in heaven."(Colossians 3:22-4:1) The "master" or
employer also has to reflect in his behavior God's
justice and righteousness.
The most appropriate example, however, we find in the
person of the father.
God identifies himself in the first place as a Father. "For
this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every
family (the word used in
the original means literally"fatherhood")
in heaven and on earth derives its name."(Ephesians 3:14-15). Jesus said that even a very
imperfect father serves as an example of God's character:
"Which of you, if his son asks for
bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish,
will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much
more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those
who ask him!" (Matthew 7:9-11)
A father should reflect not only God's justice, but also
his love, goodness and generosity. A little child, when
he or she begins to think of God for the first time, will
most probably imagine that God is like his or her father.
This concept is of course far away from the reality. But
it is still the best concept a child can perceive at this
stage in his or her life! For if he or she had no
parents, the child would not have any clue how
to imagine God.
In conclusion: Authority by itself is not bad. It is designed
by God in order to make God's character and God's principles
known in this world, and to maintain order in the human
institutions. - But we recognize that currently very little of
this divine plan is being fulfilled. Why is this so?
There is someone else who has power in this world. Jesus
speaks in several places about the "prince of this
world" (John 12:31, 14:30, 16:11). To whom does he refer? -
To satan! "...the whole world is under the
control of the evil one."(1
John 5:19). But his power is unjust and illegal. (To
differentiate, I prefer talking here about "power", but
not "authority".) This power is limited: although satan
is the prince, God still is King.
How did satan obtain this position? - We stated that initially,
God gave authority to man. But man lost this authority because he
did not obey his superior authority, God (Genesis chapter 3). So
satan took away this position from man, using astuteness and
deception.
Since then, satan is building his own kingdom, using his own
methods: lies, manipulation, oppression, violence, abuse. So
there are rising "authorities" who exercise their power
in an abusive way."The thief
comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they
may have life, and have it to the full." (John
10:10)
Here we have a clear sign for discerning between true authority
which pleases God, and the power which opposes God: What
"methods of government" do they apply? Is their power
exercised with honesty, transparency, responsibility before God
and men, justice, love? If this is not the case, then it is a
power opposed to God, no matter how "good" their goals
may appear. The ends never justify the means.
Since we observe so many distorted examples of
"authority" in this world, we will dig a bit deeper
into God's principles for exercising authority.
We have seen that authority, from the beginning, comes from God.
This has two different consequences:
a) Authority has its right from God,
b) Authority has also its limits imposed by God.
I propose the following definition:
Authority is the right delegated by a higher
authority, or the
quality recognized by the followers, to
make decisions and to rule over others, for their well-being.
We will explain this definition in detail.
Authority is delegated
by a higher authority.
A Roman centurion (captain) expressed his faith in Jesus'
authority with these words:"For
I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell
this one, `Go,' and he goes; and that one, `Come,' and he comes.
I say to my servant, `Do this,' and he does it."(Matthew 8:9). We might have him expected to say: "I am
a man with authority", but he does not say this. He
says: "I am a man under authority". The
centurion was fully aware of the fact that he had authority only
insofar as he acted according to the commands of his superiors.
His authority was delegated by the generals of the Roman
army. In front of his soldiers, the captain did not exercise his
own authority, but the authority of his superiors.
So the captain applied this principle to what he observed in
Jesus. Jesus fulfilled always the commandments of his higher
authority, God the Father. Since God is the highest authority,
Jesus must have had this same authority. So it was to be expected
that Jesus had power to heal every illness. "By
myself I can do nothing; ... for I seek not to please myself but
him who sent me." (John 5:30)
Edition Note (2008):
I have been corrected about this concept of
"delegated authority" by several authors
who point out that there is another kind of
authority. We can take as an example the authority of
a wiser, more mature friend, whom I recognize as a
counsellor because of these qualities. This
counsellor's authority is not delegated, it is
recognized. Some authors call it "relational
authority". (Therefore the words in color
added to the above definition.)
In secular institutions and governments, authority is
normally delegated. But several Biblical passages
indicate that in the Church,
"relational authority" is the normal case.
The very term "elder"
for a leader in the church indicates that he is
someone recognized for his maturity, not a
delegated "office". When the Church in
Jerusalem needed more leaders, the apostles said to
the brothers: "Look among you ... for seven man
of good testimony, full of the Holy Spirit and of
wisdom..." (Acts 6:3) - The authority of these
seven came from being recognized by all the brothers,
not from delegation by the apostles. Likewise in Acts
14:23, where it says: "And they appointed elders
in every church", the word translated
"appoint" means literally: "confirm by
raising of hands". There also, the authority of
the elders was by being recognized by the
congregation (which is not the same as a democratic
election, since in an election there are often other
dominant factors in play, other than the spiritual
qualities of the candidates.)
This implies that every human authority is limited:
First of all, every authority has a definedtask appointed by
a higher authority. If the authority does not fulfill
this task, or not in the way it was commanded, he or she
begins to lose authority.
Every authority is ultimately delegated by God. So if an
authority is acting against God's
principles, he or she is also losing
authority. If a government, for example, begins to praise
the evildoers and to punish those who do good, then this
government does no longer exercise the authority which
was delegated to them, but exercises an injust and
usurpated power. - It is here where the principle
"Lex Rex" applies. The authority must submit to
the law given by a higher authority or by the authority
itself. (God himself does not govern arbitrarily, but
submits to his own law; see Deuteronomy 32:4, Numbers
23:19).
This implies that a higher authority must watch over the
way how lower authorities under them exercise their
respective authority. Reciprocally, a person who has been
mistreated by an authority, has the right of appealing to
a higher authority. Denying someone this right is a
violation of God's principles about authority.
Every authority has also its area
of government (a defined territory,
institution, area of influence, or group of people). A
father, for example, "governs" over the
"area" of his family. An employer has his
business as "territory". A national government
is appointed over the political affairs of their nation.
If an authority attempts to govern outside his or her
area, problems and conflicts are created. For example, if
a government legislates about what is allowed to be
preached in churches, it transgresses its limits and
interferes in a "territory" not of their own.
In the same way, if a church is controlling the political
affairs of a country, it is interferring in "foreign
territory".
As individuals, we live in different
"territories" simultaneously: we are citizens,
employers or employees, church members, and members of a
family. But in each one of these areas, we are only under
its specific authority: my pastor must not command me
about my daily work; the government must not command me
how to educate my children; etc.
Exercising authority means to decide and to rule
God's authority is described with words like these: "Our
God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him."(Psalm 115:3). "By the word of the LORD
were the heavens made ... For he spoke, and it came to be; he
commanded, and it stood firm." (Psalm 33:6-9).
An "authority" who does not dare to make decisions, is
not a true authority.
The proper response to authority is obedience:"Then
they answered Joshua: Whatever you have commanded us we will do,
and wherever you send us we will go. Just as we fully obeyed
Moses, so we will obey you. Only may the LORD your God be with
you as he was with Moses." (Joshua 1:16-17).
True authority is normally (not always) recognized as such by
their followers. But we see here also a condition: "Only
may the LORD your God be with you". Joshua would have
authority only while he himself submitted to God.
True authority serves the well-being
of its followers.
We can see this very clearly in the way Jesus exercised his
authority. He said: "For even the Son of Man did
not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a
ransom for many."(Mark 10:45).
The parable in Matthew 24:45-51 illustrates the same principle: "Who
then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in
charge of the servants in his household to give them their food
at the proper time?" - We see here a servant
who is put "in charge"; this means, in authority. To
what purpose? "to give them teir food", in
other words, to care for their well-being. "It
will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so
when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge
of all his possessions." - The servant is
evaluated and raised to higher positions according to his
obedience towards his higher authority, and according to the way
he treated his subordinates. "But suppose that
servant is wicked and says to himself, `My master is staying away
a long time,' and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and
to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will
come ... and assign him a place with the hypocrites ..."
If this servant abuses his power in order to gratify himself, and
mistreats the servants under his authority, then he deserves
punishment.
In the same way, a government, an employer, a father, a pastor,
is put into his position not in order to gratify himself, but in
order to care for the well-being of his subordinates. (See also
Lucas 22:24-27).
In this present world, there is a permanent conflict between
two completely opposed systems of power: one system of just,
redeeming, liberating authority which follows God's principles,
and a system of illegitimate and enslaving power which is under
the rule of satan.
What is our role, as Christians, in this conflict?
Jesus has overcome the devil and has taken his power away (1
John 3:8, 2 Tim. 1:10, Luke 10:18). What did Jesus do with this
power? In Luke 10:19, he says to his disciples: "I
have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and
to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm
you."This same authority is
later explicitly extended to all believers (Mark 16:17-18).
Believers will rule again over God's creation, as it was God's
plan for men from the beginning. In other words: Jesus gives us
back the authority the devil had stolen from Adam.
Therefore, as Christians, we are part of the system of just
authority established by God - not in a passive role, but called
to exercise actively this kind of authority. (See 1
Peter 2:9). This means, at the same time, resisting all abuse of
power which is contrary to the will of God. It is our duty to
exercise this just, redeeming and liberating authority, until the
day when God himself will liberate the whole creation from its
slavery under satan's injust, usurpated power (Rom.8:19-21).
In our daily life we are confronted with many situations where
we can decide in which way to use our power (even if this power
is very little). We can decide either to act in a righteous way,
according to God's principles, or to act with falsehood,
gratifying ourselves and exploiting others. In the first case, we
expand God's kingdom, since we are reinforcing the principles of
God's government. In the second case, we are conforming ourselves
to satan's way of governing, and therefore expanding satan's
kingdom. Power abuse is actually one of the devil's most
efficient means to expand his "territory".
There are at least three ways how we can exercise righteous
authority:
- By means of active obedience, where we are under a righteous
authority.
- Where we are in authority ourselves, by using this authority in
order to raise the standard of righteousness in society.
- But also, where we are under an injust "authority" or
power, by means of resisting against this power.
We can define power abuse as the sin commited by a
person in authority, when he or she transgresses the limits of
his or her authority.
There are several elements to consider:
1. The abuser has a position of superiority
towards the victim. The victim cannot defend him- or herself
because he or she is in the weaker position; in a relationship of
subordination or dependence.
2. The victim is normally someone who could legitimately
expect the authority to help him or her to satisfy his or her
needs. But the abuser exploits the victim in order to
satisfy his or her own desires; so the victim feels
"robbed". Such desires can be various: the longing for
power and control; the desire of feeling strong or important; the
desire of being loved; love for money; sexual desires; and many
others. The abuser satisfies these desires in an illegitimate way
and at the expenses of the victim.
3. The abuser achieves his/her goal by means of
manipulation (use of dishonest means and of
pretexts, in order to dissimulate the real purpose). To
manipulate means to ignore the victim's will and to achieve that
the victim does something he or she would not do if he or she
were completely free to decide. We can observe at least four
kinds of manipulation, which can all be illustrated with a
Biblical example:
Obligation by force and violence. - Example: the
brothers of Joseph who sold their brother as a slave to
Egypt (Genesis 37). The victim simply does not have the
possibility to defend him- or herself.
"Begging", faking a weakness or need.
- Example: the gibeonites who acted as if they came from
very far away, in order to ask for Israel's protection,
while in reality they lived in the midst of the land
Israel had to occupy (Joshua 9). The victim feels moved
to compassion; he or she will probably feel guilty when
he or she does not cooperate. The manipulator exploits
these feelings to have the victim do something he or she
does not really want to do.
By means of "good works". Example:
Absalom, who stood besides the door of the king's palace,
offering favours to everyone who asked for an audience
before the king, with the purpose of "stealing the
heart of the people" and overthrowing the king (2
Samuel 15:1-6). The manipulator does favours to the
victim, so the victim is "in debt" with him or
her and feels obliged to do what the abuser wants, even
against his or her own will.
By means of false information. Example:
Potiphar's wife who accused Joseph falsely before her
husband (Genesis 39:7-20). In this case, the victim
believes that he or she is acting correctly, when doing
something he or she would never do if he or she knew the
truth.
The mentioned examples demonstrate by themselves that God hates
manipulation.
4. The victim's privacy and personal integrity is violently invaded.
We can distinguish different kinds of abuse, according to the
affected area:
- Physical abuse (physical cruelty, violence, torture)
- Sexual abuse (rape, incest, forced exposition to
pornography, etc.)
- Emotional abuse (manipulation, threats, violation of
privacy; parents who expect their children to satisfy the
emotional needs of the parents)
- Economical abuse (employers who emply children in
order to pay them less; parents who force their minor children to
provide for the parent's economical needs - see 2 Cor.12:14b)
- Spiritual abuse (abuse of a spiritual leadership
position and of God's name; interferring in the personal lives of
followers under the pretext of spiritual guidance - see
Rom.14:4.10.13, 1 Cor.7:23)
If righteous authority reflects God's character, we can
conclude that power abuse reflects satan's character. Power
abuse, viewed this way, is a proclamation of satan before the
world. (In consequence, the most terrible evil happens when a
Christian commits power abuse!)
In order to illustrate the consequences of abuse, we will
compare the human personality with a city. (The Bible speaks in
many occasions to a city as if it were a person. So we will, for
now, turn around the metaphor and represent the human personality
as a city.)
The following picture represents an intact personality, according
to God's plan:
THE INTACT PERSONALITY
We see in the center of the city its government, the will.
The will decides what the entire person will do. The will
controls to a great extent body, mind and emotions.
The throne is built upon a treasure of self-esteem.
A person with high self-esteem will generally have a stronger
will, while a person with low self-esteem will have a weaker
will.
The city is surrounded by the wall of personal
integrity. Everything inside this wall is the
person's own: his or her privacy.
Nobody else has to decide over this area. The Bible shows us that
from the beginning, God protects the private, intimate sphere of
each person, by enforcing each person's dignity as created in
God's image (Genesis 1:27). When man sinned, God did not expose
him to shame, but covered his nakedness (Genesis 3:21). God
prohibits every kind of favoritism which denies certain people
their dignity for reasons of race, nationality, or social
position (Acts 10:34-35, James 2:1-9).
The wall is not completely closed; it has gates of
communication. It is there where we gat out of our
privacy in order to have contact with the world. We share our
lives with other people, and they share their lives with us. What
is important here: I have the keys. I decide for myself
when to open the gates and when to close them; who may enter my
city and who may not. I am the one who decides who has the right
of influencing my life, and what I will share with others about
my life.
God himself respects this right of "opening" or
"closing" ourselves according to our own decision. In
Revelation 3:20, he says: "Here I am! I stand at
the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."
- The Lord, the highest authority, might as well say: "You
are my property, and by all means I have the best plan for your
life; so if you don't open the door yourself, I will break it by
force because I do not want you to go without my blessing."
But he does not say this. He decided that we should have privacy,
and he himself respects it. Until we do not open the door by
ourselves, he keeps patiently waiting outside, knocking at the
door. He does not force nor manipulate anybode to open the door
against his or her will.
Above the city, we see God's care and protection.
God cares for every person and includes everyone under his rule,
believers and unbelievers:"... your
Father in heaven causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good,
and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."
(Matthew 5:45)
There are two pillars sustaining the relationship of the person
with God: authorities and trust.
- Authorities, when they govern according to God's will and
principles, reflect God's character in this world. They are
"channels" for God's provision, justice and truth. In
such a situation, the person can trust because he or she is
protected both by God and by righteous authorities. So the person
will approach God trustfully in every need (Hebrews 4:16).
Now we will see what happens when the authority abuses his or
her power:
By means of abuse and manipulation, a foreign will has opened
a breach in the wall, has invaded the city and has taken seat on
the throne. This will did not enter legitimately, through the
gate, but over the wall, violating the victim's privacy. Every
abuse, not only sexual abuse, is a violation, because the
person's privacy is violated. The Lord says:
"I tell you the truth, the man who does
not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some
other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the
gate is the shepherd of his sheep. " (John
10:1-2)
The abuser satisfies his or her own desires at the expenses of
the victim. Instead of caring for the victim's well-being and giving
something, the abuser takes away something; so he is a
thief.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill
and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it
to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays
down his life for the sheep." (John
10:10-11)
The abuser, instead of giving life, extracts life from the
victim. The treasure is plundered: the abused person looses his
or her self-esteem and begins to feel unworthy and inferior. It is quite common that victims of rape
accuse themselves: "I should not have walked through that
street at night", "I should not have dressed this
way", "I should not have gone alone" ... - The
truth is that no circumstance whatever gives someone the
right of raping a defenseless woman. The guilty one is always the
violator. But the victim does not perceive it this way because
her conscience was also violated.
This violation of conscience is characteristic of every kind
of abuse, and especially of spiritual abuse. The abuser
insinuates in some way that he or she has all the right of doing
what he or she does, and that the victim is guilty if he or she
complains, or even denounces the abuser. God says that this is a
form of witchcraft which he condemns:
"Therefore this is what the Sovereign
LORD says: I am against your magic charms with which you
ensnare people like birds ... because you disheartened the
righteous with your lies, when I had brought them no grief,
and because you encouraged the wicked not to turn from their
evil ways and so save their lives, therefore you will no
longer see false visions or practice divination."
(Ezekiel 13:20-23).
Chapter 34 of Ezekiel describes what happens when an entire
nation is subject to power abuse. The prophet addresses the
"shepherds" of Israel: the spiritual, political and
economical leaders. He shows that the principal task of an
authority is to provide for the needs of the people. But the
shepherds of Israel exploited the sheep in order to satisfy their
own desires:
"Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only
take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of
the flock? You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool
and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of
the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the
sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the
strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly
and brutally."(v.2-4)
Neither did the shepherds fulfill their duty of doing justice
and protecting the weaker ones:
"Must my flock feed on what you have
trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet?
Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says to them: See,
I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep.
Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the
weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away
..."(v.19-21)
The consequence is a national misery:
"So they were scattered because there was
no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food
for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the
mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over
the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.
" (v.5-6)
This could be a graphical description of the national
situation of Peru, as a consequence of the conquest and the
following abuses.
Through the open breach in the wall, messages of shame and
disdain enter easily. The victim becomes very vulnerable for
messages like these: "You are not worth anything." -
"Are you not capable of acting differently?" -
"Everything is your fault." - "You will never
succeed." - The victim feels inferior, guilty and dirty, and
begins to hate him- or herself. Messages of shame exercise such
an influence that the victim begins to act according to these
messages. For example, the victim destroys his or her own success
(by failing an important exam, for example), in order to
"prove" that he or she "will never succeed".
In many cases, there is some self-destructive behavior, such
as pulling out one's hair, eating one's fingernails, wounding
oneself, anorexia, attempts of suicide.
Through the "open breach", additional bondages may
enter, such as drug addiction, occultism, violent behavior,
cults, etc. The abused person attempts in many ways to get back
what had been stolen, and looks for a substitute, for example in
work, personal success, sexuality, even religion. But the
interior vacuum remains, since nothing can really substitute what
had been stolen.
The will is the "government" of our personality.
Every commitment to God requires a decision of the will.
Therefore, our enemy has a special interest in our will. It is
one of his main goals to attack, weaken and captivate our will,
in order to incapacitate us for a relationship with God. He
achieves this by means of a violation of personal
"frontiers", and oppression by a foreign will.
Therefore, abuse is in the first place a spiritual
problem.
The abuser's will has occupied the place of the victim's will.
The victim's will is now oppressed, dependent on and subject to
the foreign will. As a result, mind and emotions receive
contradictory signals from both wills, and are confused. Even the
body is affected: frequently the victim neglects his or her
appearance and hygiene; and psychosomatic illnesses may appear.
The result is a person who does not have dominion over a large
part of his or her will. In consequence, he or she fails in
important areas of life; decides to change but does not persist
("I want to, but I can't"). Even small decisions result
very difficult because "inner voices" are contradicting
themselves constantly. Even if the person converts to Christ, he
or she is not capable of surrendering all of his or her life,
since the abused person lacks control over many areas of his or
her life. This problem is described in Romans 7:14-24:
"I do not understand what I do. For what
I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ... For what
I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want
to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want
to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in
me that does it."
Furthermore, the "breach" in the wall remains open.
This is the most vulnerable area of the person, where the victim
is unable to defend him- or herself. This way, "abuse
attracts more abuse". Many victims of abuse develop (without
willing it) a tendency of allowing abusive persons to invade
their lives again and again. Such a person is an attractive goal
for abusers, who seem to detect instinctively the
"breach" and feel attracted by it.
On a national level, this may explain the strange tendency of
"looking for" dictators as authorities.
The abuser maintains control over the victim, imposing his own
"laws" of behavior. These laws become "inner
voices" which control the victim's behavior, even years
later. Some of the most frequent of these laws are:
"Don't talk". The victim is afraid of
talking about what had happened. The abuser may have
threatened the victim, forbidding him or her to talk. Or
the victim may have attempted to talk to someone, but was
ridiculed or did not find understanding. This
"law" can become so strong that the victim
actually forgets about the abuse, but the wound remain
"buried" inside his or her soul.
"Dissimulate your emotions". This law
governs the behavior of many families. If a child shows
anger, hate, or fear, he or she is scolded or laughed at.
So the child feels ashamed and learns to deny and
dissimulate emotions. But these emotions are expressions
of problems in the life of the child; and if the child
suppresses emotions, he or she will not be able to
discover and express problems. Later, he or she will also
lose the ability to express positive feelings.
"Forbidden to make mistakes". In many
abused people, we can observe perfectionism and fear of
making mistakes. The shame they feel inside leads them to
give too much importance to what other people might say
or think. - Abusive authorities may express by their
behaviour: "In this business (family, church, ...)
nobody makes any mistakes." (If someone makes a
mistake, he or she is forced to dissimulate it, in order
to not appear being unable. Since nobody is perfect, the
members of such a group feel constantly guilty and afraid
of their superiors.) - This "law" leads victims
to think they are so inferior that they
"deserve" to be abused.
"Don't trust anybody": A person in
whom the victim trusted, has abused this trust and
wounded the victim deeply. So it is natural that the
victim thinks: I will no longer trust in anybody. So the
victim will not seek help, since he or she distrusts even
the people who could help him or her.
Once these unspoken laws are spoken out, they lose much of
their power: The victim can then evaluate them in the light of
God's Word and discover that they are lies which should be
broken.
As a consequence of abuse, the pillars of authority and trust
are broken. The victim feels unable to trust anybody, especially
authorities.
Additionally, the victim builds walls of self-defense,
in order to avoid being wounded again. But the foreign will is
stronger; so the victim cannot defend him- or herself in the
place where this will entered. Therefore, the walls of
self-defense are built in the wrong place, closing the
"gates of communication". Such victims lack the
barriers of integrity against abusive persons, but instead raise
barriers against people who would not harm them.
Some kinds of self-defense are:
Isolating him- or herself: The victim hides
behind the walls by not communicating and by avoiding
personal contact.
Criticism and aggressivity: In order to avoid
further attacks, the person attacks first, showing a rude
character. The inconscient motive is to avoid that
anybody might approach too much and so discover the
interior disaster of the victim.
Attractivity: with a fake joy, a very
extraverted behavior, or an extreme submission and
friendliness, fufilling the desires of everyone. So this
person satisfies his or her hunger for acceptance and
love; but does not receive real understanding since he or
she does not share with anybody his or her real problems.
"Internal vows" which will later turn
into inconscient bondages, making life difficult: "I
will never again trust a man", "I will never
marry", "I will never have success", etc.
The tragedy consists in the fact that these walls deny
entrance to people who could help the victim. God remains not
passive towards victims of abuse; he sends constantly his
messages of love and comfort, and his offers of help. He sends
these messages by his word, and by means of compassionate people
who attempt to help the victim. But these messages must enter
through the gates. God plays according to the rules; he will not
use the satanic methods of the abuser. Therefore, most of these
messages are rejected by the walls of self-defense.
And worst of all: Abuse is also an attack against trust in
God, the Father. A person who should, as an authority, represent
God's image, broke this image violently. This is most serious if
the abuser is the own father of a child, since the father is the
first representation of God in the life of a child. So this child
will have a terribly distorted image of God, and will be unable
to trust God or authorities. The victim will imagine a violent,
impatient, oppressive and fallible God, or a God who is too far
away to help.
Therefore it is very important to remember the true character of
God the Father. He respects our dignity and our decisions. He
does not abuse his power, on the contrary, he uses his power for
protecting and helping the victims of abuse.
At this point, the question arises: Will it be like that
forever? Must an abused person continue forever with a destroyed
life, torn feelings, and ill patterns of behavior which cannot be
changed?
Not at all! God himself showed us a path of healing. Even modern
psychology is discovering some of these truths about the human
soul, which God knew all the time and has already revealed them
to us in his written word.
But as a good physician will not proceed to treatment until he
has established a complete diagnosis, we will not proceed to the
principles of healing until we have analized the problem more
deeply. There will be something to say about the effects of abuse
in our families, and in Christian churches. And I will also share
my own story, in order to illustrate how we can be wounded, and
how we can find the path of healing.
I just want to anticipate that God is not indifferent to abuse.
In Ezekiel 34, after describing the misery of the wounded sheep,
God promises to intervene and to heal. He will judge abuse, and
he himself will assume all the responsibilities neglected by the
authorities:
"I am against the shepherds and will hold
them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from
tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed
themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it
will no longer be food for them. ... As a shepherd looks
after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I
look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places
where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.
... I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain
heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will
lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a
rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. ... I will search
for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the
injured and strengthen the weak .... I will shepherd the
flock with justice.
... I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean
sheep. Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all
the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them
away, I will save my flock, and they will no longer be
plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another. I will
place over them one shepherd, my servant David (this
is a prophetical reference to Jesus, the "Son of
David") and he will tend them ... I will
make a covenant of peace with them."
(v.10-16, 20-25)
When God himself stands up and shows his character as a just
and responsible authority, the wounds of the nation will be
healed, and God will be known as who he really is.
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